Peace of Me
by getmesomenasonexyouswine
Summary: A post-Eclipse songfic. JacobBella, I guess. Just read it. The ending sucks.


Peace of Me – a Post-Eclipse Songfic

Peace of Me – a Post-Eclipse Songfic

**A/N: **Okay, umm... this is my first Twilight fic, and my first one-shot unless you count that Harry Potter thing I did which I will turn into a one-shot one of these days. So...

**DISCLAIMER: **If I owned Twilight, Edward wouldn't even have been in the book. Jacob and Bella would've been together and Esme and Carlisle wouldn't have had to deal with their angsty, tortured son. End of story.

--

I was bored, to say the least. Charlie was fishing, and Edward and his family were hunting again. I no longer had homework as a distraction; I'd done it all Friday, so I could spend the day with Edward Saturday. And what a day it had been – just lounging at his house, but it seemed much better than that. I sighed and pushed myself up from the couch. I would turn on some music, I decided, so I trudged into the kitchen. After digging around for a bit in the cupboards, I managed to find a beaten-looking radio lurking under the stove. I pulled it out and, feeling very cliché, blew the dust off the top.

I set the black box onto the counter and tugged on the cord to bring it up from the depths of the cupboards. I shoved the plug into the outlet near the blender and turned it on. Rap music blared from it, and I turned it down with a bulky knob. I waited, and the song changed. I raised the volume a little to hear the quiet female voice:

_Standing still, but still moving..._

_Lying down, but not resting..._

_Breathing air, suffocating..._

_All the while I'm debating..._

_Life...was...never what I thought... _

_Never what I wan–ted it... to be..._

_Had a plan, couldn't follow,_

_Had a dream, it was hollow._

_Everywhere... felt like nowhere,_

_Everything... was so boring._

_Life...was... never what I wan-ted,_

_Never what I thought,_

_Until you came and turned it all around_

The tempo picked up and a rock-type feel presented itself in replacement for the quiet piano that had previously accompanied the vocals.

_Oh...you found the peace of me..._

_It was missing, it was broken_

_You put soul into it_

A memory of Jacob's laughing face swam to the surface of my mind. A lump rose in my throat

_Oh... you found the whole of me..._

_I was empty, now I'm better_

_All my peace is back together..._

Tears swelled in my eyes. I blinked, clearing my blurred vision but letting the salty drops leave tracks down my face.

_Restless ways for a livin,'_

_Fitting in, 'cause I was driven._

_Saying yes...when I meant no,_

_Holding on, should've let go_

My chest heaved as I hiccupped; I'm arguing what I must've looked like then. How desperate I must've looked trying to cling to Edward, holding myself together because I was stupid enough to remain his girlfriend, even if only in my imagination.

_I...was... scattered all around_

_Left shattered on the ground._

_You picked...me up_

The tears came swiftly and mercilessly now, and I shuddered with every sob that wracked my body. How could I have been so stupid? I had been lied to, betrayed, and left for dead in a forest I would never have found my way out of. I had been left utterly alone, a shell of what had been, and still chosen Edward.

_All I wanted was a little bit of hope..._

_Couldn't find it_

_You showed me something that I never knew I owned..._

_You put a light to it_

"No!" I moaned, wishing or Jacob with all of my heart and soul, missing him more than I had ever missed anyone in my entire life.

_Oh... you found the peace of me_

_It was missing, it was broken,_

_You put soul into it._

_Oh...you found the whole of me_

_I was empty, now I'm better _

'_Cause you pieced me back together..._

I couldn't even breathe. I gasped for air, trying to sniffle to clear my stopped nose. Tears still swam down my face, falling into my mouth, as I bent my head in anguish. This was how Jacob – my poor, sweet Jacob – must have felt all the time. That thought drove more tears fiercely from my eyes.

_What a life..._

_Always tired..._

_What a life..._

_Lived without you... _

_Don't leave me..._

_And I won't..._

_Fall apart..._

_I won't leave you..._

_And it's cold..._

_And I'm blinde..._

_And I would..._

_And it feels good..._

_What a waste..._

_Of my mind..._

_Every time..._

_All the time..._

"My Jacob...No...Jacob" I blubbered, dropping to the ground, still sobbing. Would the tears ever stop? _No_, I answered myself_, not until you get off your distraught little bum and find him. You know where he is: Canada. Your new car will be up to it..._

_Oh... you found the whole...of me..._

_It was missing! It was broken! _

_Oh...you've put it back together..._

_Oh...you've found the whole...of me..._

_I was empty, now I'm better..._

'_Cause you pieced me back together, oh..._

As the song came to a close, I found my feet and hands, moved by some unknown force, pushing up from the linoleum floor and moving toward the hook near the door. I grabbed my car key, then turned to run upstairs. I entered my room and at once seized a pen and sheet of paper from my desk

"_Charlie and Edward," _I wrote, my writing even worse because of the way I was shaking.

I've gone to look for Jacob. Don't bother calling; I'm not bringing my phone. I'll call when I find him. Love you, Bella.

That ought to do it. I drew in a shaky breath, grabbed a jacket and my purse, and went carefully down the stairs. I put the note down on the kitchen table and rushed out the door, partially blinded by my tears. Yanking the car door open more force then necessary, I pulled myself in and thrust the key into the ignition. I put it into reverse and slammed down on the gas, starting to cry again in frustration when I flew backward. I backed out eventually and zoomed off without really knowing which way to head. That didn't matter to me. All I knew was I was going to find my Jacob.

--

**A/N: **Urk. Can't stand the ending. But... the moral of this story is simple: Edward sucks, Jacob doesn't. I swear to anything I will NOT put up with Edward's crazy-fan-cheerleader-things. Edward haters are welcome, however, as are Jacob's crazy-fan-cheerleader-thingies. I just can't stand flamers. Well... review, I guess. And don't bother reading my other fics – I'll delete them eventually. xD


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